makkaleena

Tiedän näiden katumaalausten ja rautaporttien tarkoittavan, että olen hukannut aikaa, mutta kuinka kauan? Minulla ei ole aseita, ei mitään heitä vastaan En voi mennä taaksepäin vaikka haluaisinkin ja on liian aikaista jatkaa. Anteeksi. Auta. Pienet sanat kasvavat sisälläni, mutta tukehtuvat ennen kuin ehdin käyttää niitä Tämä ei ole se huone, josta halusin herätä.

haluaisin kuulla sinun kääntyvän huomata sen hiljaisen liikkeen sivupeilistä katsovat pienet silmät jotka ovat ihan hiljaa yksinäiset sanat painavat hartioitani lohduttomat korulauseet särkevät jalkojani hiljaisuuden läpi kaikuu huuto mutta se ei kuulu sinusta muutoksen kaipuu raastaa sinua silminnähden ja vaikenen

If you could hear there would be singing birds and laughing children and he would talk with a beautiful voice and we would love him even more. If you could smell there would be summer and blooming roses and his scent would linger in your pillow longer than the last time. If you could feel there would be burning sun and soft sand and he would touch you your neck just like he used to did. If you could taste there would be vanilla ice cream and chocolate chip cookies and he would kiss you with such a passion that you would remember it forever. If only you could still be here.

I always wanted you to be happy but only with me.

Hold my hand, if you feel like it Hold my hand, if you want me to know Hold my hand, if your hand fits in mine. Hold my hand as a secret Hold my hand as long as you want Hold my hand as you never held it before. Hold my hand, when I'm scared Hold my hand, when I can't breathe Hold my hand, when I hold yours.

Täällä olen tullut häneksi eli minuksi enkä pidä siitä. Roskat odottavat eteisessä ja valo on liian keltainen. Kukaan ei syö minun tekemiäni sämpylöitä. Odotan eilistä, huomista tai tätä hetkeä. Ajatus päivien kulumisesta on absurdi. Mitään ei edes tapahtunut.

I'm sorry that I'm better than you, but I'm not sorry that you suck. I'm sorry that you'll never understand, but I'm not sorry that I don't even try to explain. I'm sorry that I hate you, but I have to.

it's a bit unfair that I've got only questions when you've got all the answers but you're not going to share them with me

Why would you walk when you can run? Why would you whisper when you can yell? Why would you say yes when you can say no? Why would you love me when you can love her?

Why it feels so wrong when I know it's right? No one cares how I feel Because I was the one who walked away No one cares if I'm broken Because I thought she would be better without me They can't see the truth I still love her I still hate myself everytime I see her I still want to hold her and make it all better I still can't see those tears which I made her cry I still go to sleep every night thinking if I've made a mistake Why it feels so wrong when I know it's right? How can something hurt this much? After a year I should be ok and moved on After a year no one's asking how am I anymore Cause they can't handle my pain They